All the Work Is Never Over
Okay, okay. I get it. I’m supposed to blog at least every other day. Other people, they can take breaks. But not me. I’ve already shown what’s up my sleeve. You know I can do daily, if I want. I’ve no one to blame but myself. The Record fans have put in their calls, and I’m a woman of the people, for the people, so after a week’s hiatus, here I am.
That’s my big, dramatic way of saying: “This one’s for you, JSmo” . . .
. . . who asked this morning, “What’s up with the no blogging?” To which I responded, “What? I blogged on Thursday, right? I don’t normally do weekends.” And she, being the best sort of fan, quickly pointed out that it wasn’t Thursday at all, but Monday! Jeez. My calendar senses are seriously failing. Last week, I thought the 21st might have been the 3rd. I thought yesterday might have been May 2nd. And now this.
So what’s my excuse? I don’t have one. But if I had to come up with some:
1. Caelyn’s been getting up in the 6:30 realm (as opposed to the 8:00 realm) and I’ve been staying up to the 3:00 realm (as opposed to the midnight realm), so I’ve been a little tired. (Okay, so yesterday I was so tired that I got the “tired tinglies.” You know, when you’re so tired that you get these little chills?)
2. I’ve been doing a lot of extra patting at nap time.
3. The Mavs are in the playoffs, and I’ve actually been watching, most of the time.
4. I’ve been iChatting with Cristin during nap time about an assortment of things, most recently about cake. You don’t really expect me to blog instead of think about cake, do you?
5. Wordpress keeps eating my toolbar and making me do all the in-post coding by hand. (Yeah, I’m doing it right now.) And I haven’t upgraded my Mars Edit trial yet. (Stupid, I know. If I was a bona-fide blogger, I’d be on the cutting edge. Always.)
6. All the post ideas I keep having require more time and mental capacity than I’ve had in one sitting recently, and I hate to write crap when I actually have a decent idea in mind.
Nonetheless, this silver platter’s serving crap today.
That’s right. This is a non-post. Basically, I’m just going to tell you a few thoughts from the week, maybe mention a few things on the horizon, but that’s it, since nos. 1, 2, 5, and 6 apply right this second. . . .
Well, I’ve tackled a few more workout playlists this week. Kind of. Really, I was lazy enough to repeat two that I’ve already tried and popped on Chris’ without even checking to see what was on it first. Nothing surprised me, really. Except Modest Mouse.
Modest Mouse?!? I’m not saying they don’t have any workout potential, but I am saying that they’re exactly the kind of band that Chris wouldn’t like, I think, just because I like them. (He disagrees with and hates this theory, by the way. So don’t tell him I told you. And don’t tell him I like Modest Mouse.) Everything else — Moby, Kanye, Crowder, Muse, Snowden, Switchfoot, The All-American Rejects, Toby Mac, Cross Movement, Grits, etc. — didn’t catch me off guard (although I don’t listen to more than half of those on my own time) and were all okay for working out. However, I was on the verge of quitting before Kanye came on, and he took me another mile and a half with ease.
Also, I have to confess that I skipped a few tracks. I know they’re popular, but I think Snowden and The All-American Rejects might make me feel sick. Some bands just have that power over me. Dashboard Confessional actually makes me feel car sick after one song. Seriously. I’m not making this up just to have an excuse not to listen to Dashboard Confessional.
Today, I did 5 miles with a mix I made on the fly for Friday. What was Friday? Cleaning day, of course. It’s also “yard” day at the complex, all day. I don’t go out on yard day. I swear they’re stirring up the wasps just for me. But I still wanted to get a little exercise in, so Caelyn and I shook our stuff while we dusted and disinfected and sorted. You can’t get anymore housewife than that.
For the record, Caelyn thinks The Running Man is fall-down-on-the-floor-laughing hilarious. She might be on to something.
Anyway, the mix, though constructed far too quickly, has a few basic elements:
1. Songs about dancing
2. Songs with strong bass beats
3. Songs with fast tempos
4. Songs that encourage booty shaking
5. Songs that are “easy”
6. Songs with enough “stupid” nostalgic value (which generally means at least 5-years-old) to warrant reckless dancing . . .
. . . but still enough good songs, that I’d really listen to and do, mixed in for me not to get burned out and lose all my self-respect.
Why don’t you just see for yourself?
Clean It, Shake It
“If You Find Yourself Caught in Love” — Belle & Sebastian
“Material Girl” — Madonna
“Alright Hear This” — Beastie Boys
“I Don’t Want It” — DC Talk
“I Got That Feelin’” — James Brown
“Crazy in Love” — Beyoncé (featuring Jay-Z)
“Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger” — Daft Punk
“Into the Groove” — Madonna
“Rock Your Body” — Justin Timberlake
“Picture Perfect” — Michael W. Smith
“Kiss” — Prince
“Get Up Offa That Thing” — James Brown
“Dirrty” — Christina Aguilera (featuring Redman)
“Delta Sun Bottleneck Stomp” — Mercury Rev
“Help Me, Rhonda” — The Beach Boys
“Break It All” — Los Shakers
Clean It, Shake It (B-side)
For when you really need to start cleaning, ’cause your guests are on their way, but you still need a reminder here and there to work off your waist while you knock out the dust
“Me and the Major”‘ — Belle & Sebastian
“Dirty Water” — The Standells
“Outtasite (Outta Mind)” — Wilco
“Little Bit O’ Soul” — The Music Explosion
“Signed, Sealed, Delivered I’m Yours” — Stevie Wonder
“I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)” — The Four Tops
“Bootylicious” — Destiny’s Child
“Billie Jean” — Michael Jackson
“Holiday” — Madonna
“Glad Girls” — Guided By Voices
“Believing Is Art” — Spoon
“Looking for a Kiss” — The New York Dolls
“I See No Evil” — Television
“Older Guys” — Flying Burrito Brothers
“Heroes and Villains” — The Beach Boys
“The Love You Save” — Jackson 5
“Superstition” — Stevie Wonder
“1999″ — Prince
I know. “Bootylicious?” Well, first off, didn’t Dr. Dre or Snoop Dog come up with the word in the first place? I think that’s right. But, even if it’s not, I included this one for a few solid reasons:
1. I needed a booty-shaking reminder right about there. What could be more appropriate?
2. My friend C.C. LOVED this song when it first came out. He’d also say, “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly” in conversation and then laugh until he snorted, cried, and fell out of his chair.
3. I think JSmo would appreciate it. I’m pretty sure she could get a big laugh out of saying “I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly” in conversation. She might even snort, though I doubt she’d lose her chair.
4. “I Can’t Help Myself” is a Motown song with a strong bass line and lyrics about honey and sugar. Pairing it with an R&B track with a strong bass line and lyrics about jelly seemed appropriate. Thematically, they pair up nicely too.
I paired up “Picture Perfect” and “Kiss” for similar reasons. They’ve got different intentions, but they’re both sayin’ looks ain’t everything.
Anyway, the main mix accompanied me on my walk today. Not too shabby.
And that’s it. After only one topic, I’m out. Caelyn’s up and in the Wii drawer, a Mario Kart wheel in each hand. If I value my marriage, I oughtta call it quits right now.
But I’ll leave you with these conversations from this week that, hopefully, will be inspiring exclusive posts in the near future:
WEDNESDAY NIGHT AT THE HEALTH CLUB’S FRONT DESK:
Me: “Do you take debit/credit?”
Health Club Guy, I’ll call him Ramone, yes, after Seinfeld’s pool guy: “Yep.”
Me: “Great. I’ve only ever paid in cash. But I don’t have enough.”
Cristin: “If I had any cash, I’d cover what you don’t have, but I never have any cash.”
Me:: “Ah, me neither. These $3 are the end of my b-day cash. I spent the rest today on another fake ring.”
Cristin: “What?! Why?! You don’t have any baby weight left!”
Me: “I know. But I swear my knuckles got bigger.”
Ramone: (dubiously) “What? Your knuckles got bigger?”
Me: “Yeah, I had a baby.”
(Ramone looks at me with the best college-kid “so what” face ever.)
Me: “When you’re pregnant, your joints expand all over so you can have the baby. Most of ‘em go back to normal, but not all of them. Sometimes your feet get bigger too.”
(Ramone’s eyes grow wide with horror.)
Me: “Sexy, eh?”
SUNDAY NIGHT UPON THE GIRLS’ RETURN FROM BUENO:
Cristin: “Boy, Chris, you better take care of your wife! The drive-thru guy was flirt-ing with her! Woo!”
Chris: (laughing) “Oh, yeah?”
Me: “Yeah, he asked me what kind of party we were taking all this food to.”
(Chris nods.)
Me: “And when he handed me the food he said, ‘You be sure and check all this out. And if anything’s missing, you just come right on back, ’cause I sure wouldn’t mind seeing you again.’”
(Andrew laughs hard in the background.)
Chris: (switching to a serious tone) “He really said that?”
Cristin: “Yeah he did! Your wife is hot!”
Andrew: “Ah, but the question is, was he good-looking?”
Cristin and Me: “No.”
Me: “But it’s been a long time since I’ve been hit on at the drive-thru window.”
7 comments
It makes sense that Dashboard Confessional would cause motion sickness. He kinda sings like waves: “SLEEP with all the SHEETS OFF bearing your MATTRESS bearing you SOUL.”
I love C.C. and I love the description of the seizures he’d have in response to his own jokes. If you could write a book about C.C., I promise to buy it.
Lex — Yeah! That’s it exactly. Ugh.
A book about C.C.! That’s gotta be among the best book ideas ever! (C.C. is pretty great.) If I do immortalize him, I promise, you’ll be the first to know.
C.C. would be so honored to have a book written about him! I think you should do it.
I’m glad to see that For the Record is up and running again! I’m glad to have spurred you on. But, anytime you aren’t getting any sleep, you have my blessings to nap, veg, or stare at the wall instead of blogging! As for No.4, I expect you to blog about cake. Cristin can join in on FTR!
I don’t remember “Bootylicious”. You’ll have to play it for me sometime. I do laugh aloud at myself, but I seldom snort when I’m laughing. I am good at keeping my laughter quiet if I have to, but that almost almost makes me laugh so hard that I cry. Most often, that happens when I’m laughing at myself with my back turned so that Kevin doesn’t see me laughing and make fun of me. In fact, I’m laughing aloud right now just thinking about it! I’m so funny! :0)
(are we aloud to make typing faces on your blog?) And I don’t think I’ve ever fallen out of my chair due to laughter, although we had this thing in 6th grade that Jeremiah started where we would randomly fall out of our chairs during class as if it were an accident. Everyone in the class did it from time to time, but I don’t really know why. Peer pressure, I suppose.
JSmo — I think C.C.’s level of honored feelings would be directly related to the content. You know I couldn’t leave out him asking me to go home and change my shoes so I wouldn’t look so tall, even though we were just at Wal-Mart and we were just friends. He ended up walking behind me.
We at FTR appreciate your blessing. Of course, I’m AWFUL at just sitting and staring at the wall and not thinking about anything.
Blogging about cake’s a possibility. But! I think Cristin should blog about it! (We were talking about how to decorate a cake for a shower she’s hosting.) In fact, after she blogs about seeding the yard, I think she should write about cake and whatever decorating project she starts next. (And you say you never have anything to write about, CB. You could make a virtual scrapbook! For free!)
I can just see the face Mom would make if you told her that story! We should get you and C.C. in a room together for sure. But C.C. would overshadow you, as he would be falling apart at his own jokes, laughing at yours, and probably nervous.
I suspected you didn’t actually know “Bootylicious,” but I’m certain you would enjoy it. What you’d like best, though, is dancing to it and saying “bootylicious.” And trying to get Mom to say “bootylicious.”
Actually, if I was going to make a Clean It, Shake It for you using primarily songs (or the same artists) from my lists, it’d look something like this:
1. “I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)” — The Four Tops
2. “Bootylicious” — Destiny’s Child
3. “Material Girl” — Madonna
4. “Signed, Sealed, Delivered I’m Yours” — Stevie Wonder
5. “Come On Over (All I Want Is You)” — Christina Aguilera
6. “I Don’t Want It” — DC Talk
7. “I Got the Feelin’” — James Brown (You’d recognize it from Cosby.)
8. “Crazy in Love” — Beyoncé (featuring Jay-Z)
9. “The Love You Save” — Jackson 5
10. “Into the Groove” — Madonna
11. “Bye, Bye, Bye” — N’Sync (JT started in N’Sync. This one has the dance you love.)
12. “Picture Perfect” — Michael W. Smith
13. “1999” — Prince
14. “Genie in a Bottle” — Christina Aguilera
15. “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” — Will Smith (The theme, not the DJ Jazzy Jeff version, not by anyone on my lists, but I think it’s the right move for you)
16. “That Kinda Girl” — DC Talk
17. “Do You Wanna Dance” — The Beach Boys (Just in case the folks get there before you put away the vacuum. This will forgive the Madonna.)
Thanks for the line-up. We’ll have to get it on to KSmo’s ipod!
1. My wife got hit on recently. It’s funny. As a husband I’m jealous and proud at the same time. Wonder if Chris felt the same way.
2. So why don’t you post that playlist to iTunes so I can download it. (That’s right, you do the work, I’ll reap the benefits.) Of course, you could just make a downloadable mix like some of our other friends…
3. Taco Bell, eh? I’m glad to see that’s the case. I have a soft spot for the Mexican Pizza and I have no way to justify that. So I’m glad to see that I’m not alone in my semi-grown up love for the Bell. Of course, I still prefer Cabana.
Steve — Well, I’ve been trying to figure out how to do the work for you and let you reap the benefits, but I meet an obstacle at every turn. (Our mix sharing friends have skills and knowledge far superior than mine.) The main thing is that the songs that are from iTunes can’t be converted into mp3s because they don’t want people sharing them. And an iMix isn’t a great option, because not all the songs are available on iTunes. (Really, I think most of them are. They’re just on different albums and not showing up in the iMix. The ones that really aren’t on iTunes, I probably could convert to mp3s and Dropsend ‘em to you or something to complete the mix if you found the others.) The only option I see is actually burning a CD. Ah, iTunes!
Also, tacos in almost every form — Bell, Bueno, Cabana, Rosa’s, Everywhere Else — are never a bad thing (taste wise, not health wise). Last night, Caelyn woke up at 4 a.m with a bad dream. I comforted her for a long while, but of course, she cried when I went back to bed. As I was waiting in bed, in the dark for her to fall asleep, I closed my eyes and this vision of a huge crispy taco came to me. I could feel the thickness of the cheese. I could smell it even. I’m not making this up. I even asked Chris if he’d go get me one.
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